There was a column piece in the business magazine Fast Company titled “With Frenemies Like These” that spoke to the love/hate relationships with competitors. I’m completely ignoring that. I just like the terms, a combination of friend/enemy and friend/foe and the concept of friends/family not being what they seem.

OK, what am I getting at? Well, I’m not suggesting that your family and friends don’t really love you, but sometimes they can and do sabotage your efforts to lose weight. How can you succeed when they lay guilt on you for taking time out of your schedule to exercise, or for eating different foods than they do. They goad you into splurging or taking time off. They give you or bring into your space foods that are your “weakness”.

Why do they do that? Don’t they get it? Don’t they know how that makes you feel? It’s simple, really. Your friends and family get something they want from you NOT succeeding. It’s selfishness, plain and simple. I know that sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. It may be that the lack of self esteem you have, puts them in a position of power. It may be that if you succeed, they will feel even worse about themselves for not being able to do as well as you. Or, it may be something else, but, be assured, it’s about them.

So what can you do about this? Have a heart-to-heart talk with them and, without mincing words, explain what you’re doing and why it’s so important to you. Then make them aware of how they are making that hard for you to accomplish your goals. Ask them if they can help you by refraining from those things that make it more difficult than it already is. Hopefully, when confronted frankly, they will agree to try and support you more. You will then have to remind them when they are “doing it again”.

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