Fitness, Business, Fitness Business, & Achieving Life Goals

Self talk, positive or negative, can not only dramatically effect our ability to achieve our goals, but it can also effect our health by adding stress/anxiety to your life. Negative self talk rears its ugly head in the form of “I can’t… I’m not… I’ll never…” and let’s not forget the phrase that frequently leads up to it, “They’re right…”. The fact is that negative self talk is usually something we learn in childhood in response to what we hear others say about us.

Negative statements from our parents, teachers, siblings, and “friends” change the way we think about ourselves. We start to believe them when they say, “You’ll never amount to anything.” “You can’t do that.” “You’re not smart enough…. don’t have the discipline… too lazy… etc.” After a while, you start believing it yourself. Even worse, you start to say it to yourself without “their” input. What’s a person to do when they find themselves in a sea of impossibilities and depression about our own capabilities?

First, start and end the day by saying something good about yourself. While it doesn’t have to be Stuart Smalley”s self affirmation, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me”, it could be that simple and general, ” I can accomplish anything I set my mind to…” . The key is to believe it as you say it. You may also get very specific, like, “I will get __________ done today. Then at the end of the day, even if you didn’t complete what you set out to do, feel good about the percent that you did get done and tell yourself that. (see previous post …Play the Percentages).

Another issue is to start to recognize when you are putting yourself down. You need to stop yourself and turn the statement around. As my wife will ask her clients when she catches them in negative self talk, “What would you say if it was your best friend you were talking to?” Hopefully they would want to talk them up, not down, and usually her clients understand (at least for the moment).

You could pay yourself. Anytime you catch yourself in negative self talk, throw a dollar into a container to be used later for something positive for yourself. It could be a spa day, attending a seminar, or even a feel good movie.

Whatever you choose to do, you need to talk to yourself and about yourself in a positive way, a way that is supportive of you, your capabilities, and your life.